I'm about to spill a secret that the lesbian community doesn't want you to know. I may even get my membership card revoked for this.
I don't have a very eloquent way with words so I'm just going to spit it out. Here goes....lesbians wear a uniform. That's right! I said it! WHAT!?!
The lesbian uniform changes every year. We can spot each other a mile away once we see the universal uniform is being proudly worn. Ever meet a girl you aren't quite sure really IS a lesbian? Well with the knowledge of the uniform, now you'll know!
I don't know when the uniform started or even who started it. All I know, is that its alive and well. Its not usually a full uniform per say, but really an article of clothing or accessory. Some lesbians try to stray from the uniform because they don't want to conform or be grouped in. But they all give in eventually at some point during the year.
I've discovered the uniform usually changes around Pride when we all gather in masses. Then we can properly discern what is the current years uniform. Very handy to know in time for summer clothes shopping.
A few years ago it was the classic shoe, Chuck Taylors. Lesbians from all over the world were wearing their Chucks everywhere they went. We were all wearing the same shoes at every occasion or event.
Last year it was another piece of classic fashion, the Polo shirt. I myself have a pair of Chucks and multiple Polo's. I'm not fooling anyone. The Polo comes in a variety of colors and styles. As do Chucks. You can imagine the mix-matching possibilities that plagued our everyday lives!
I should also note that the uniform never stops being THE uniform. We get a new piece every year but that doesn't mean the old pieces no longer apply. They just aren't as prevalent I guess you could say.
Now for this years uniform choice. For 2009 we have not one, but TWO, uniform pieces. Oooo la la!
This year the first piece we have is the striped shirt. Any type of shirts and any color or variety of stripes will work. As long as the stripes are prevalent, you will easily be spotted and identified as a lesbian. No need to worry about type of fabric or width of stripes!
Our second piece this year is the key clip. Its more of an accessory. It is the clip, which very closely resembles a mountain climbing clip, that you can attach your keys too and then hook onto your belt loops. So convenient for keeping our keys where we need them, looking fashionable AND jingling whenever a lesbian is getting close to you. Its kind of like our own little beacon system. We're very clever, what can I say?
So don't go telling anyone I told you. Its very hard for me to get a new membership card. I have to take the test again and everything!
But remember ladies, get out those striped shirts and key clips and jingle the night away. You'll look good doing it. *wink*
Until next time...
